New Year, Same Me

Let’s be honest, new year does not mean a new you, whatever WeightWatchers adverts might try and sell you. You’re the same person you were yesterday, and that’s actually fine. You don’t have to change anything, if you don’t want to, and there’s no reason you ‘have’ to do it now. I know that sounds negative, but actually, 2018 is pretty much the first year I’ve been fairly ok with being the same person on January 1 as I was on December 31, soooo…

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I also tend to find New Year’s Resolutions are a bit rigid and intimidating for people of the crazy persuasion (and mostly useless for people who aren’t, to be honest). That being said, I do do goals. It’s always good to have something to aim for, as long as you keep it realistic, and for me, the start of a new year feels like a nice tidy time as any to set them. If you do want to change things or start things or stop things, the new year is a good time to think about that.

However, it can get a bit stressful or feel pressured, so my key advice for effective start-of-year goal setting is as follows:

  • Ignore everyone else – seriously, just because Alex in the Comms team is going vegan and your friend Sam has started a punishing gym routine doesn’t mean that a) you have to or b) your goal of washing your hair every other day is any less valid.
  • If you do want to set big goals, that’s good too, just make sure you’ve got some smaller, more short-term ones to keep your morale up while you work towards the big ones.
  • If you don’t know where to start, think about how your life is now and how you’d like it to be different, then start moulding your goals around that.
  • Make a mood/dream/picture board or a list or a Trello or all those things – fun, visual goal-setting is the best kind. If, like The Goblin, you’re a biro-list-on-lined paper person, that’s great, if, like me, you’re a glittery mood board person, that’s great too. The main thing is helping yourself visualise it.

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So, what am I planning? Working a full-time day job as well as running a business and attempting to maintain some form of social life is a bit manic (sometimes literally!) so I’ve here are a few business and non-business things I’m planning to do in 2018…

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  1. Launch three new jewellery collections (duh)
  2. Complete my stone-setting course (and set at least one bloody ring, which between honeymoon and illness I’ve failed to do this term…)
  3. Reach 1000 sales on Etsy (this one may be a bit high, but I need something to aim for)
  4. Make on average one custom order per month (this one may be a little low but I want to make it achievable)
  5. Carry on learning Welsh – that’s right, dw i’n dysgu cmraeg!
  6. Practise at least one musical instrument once a week (this one shouldn’t be hard, I used to do 3 hours a night, but that was when I was at school and only thought I was busy…)
  7. Write more articles like this one for online magazines
  8. Take two baths per month with bath bombs (seriously, these days I have to schedule in my relaxation in advance)
  9. One business-free evening a week (again, easier said than done, but it would be nice to actually hang out with The Goblin some time…)

I reckon that’s plenty to be getting on with! What about you, lovely readers – do you have any goals you’re aiming at in 2018? Let me know in the comments – and good luck!

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How to choose jewellery gifts

Picking jewellery for someone else can be a bit daunting – it can be hard to judge the tastes of even your closest friends when it comes to the sparkly stuff, not to mention be an expensive mistake if you choose wrong!

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However, jewellery is a long-lasting, personal and often treasured gift for the special people in your life, so here are a few tips to help you get it right…

First things first: what item of jewellery to choose

Think about what you’ve seen them wear before – do they wear studs or dangly earrings more often; rings or bracelets; or perhaps they only wear necklaces? It’s also worth thinking about whether they have one particular piece they wear often; for example, if your recipient always wears their grandma’s earrings, it might be wise to stick with a necklace or bracelet, as they’ll get more enjoyment and wear out of it.

Style

People’s personal style is just that – personal! Jewellery style can also differ from clothing preferences; what if your human wears minimalist clothes with statement jewellery? How do you know what to go for? Again, it’s best to go off what they already wear, perhaps adding an unusual flourish or different stone to what they usually choose to make the gift interesting as well as useful.

Some different styles of jewellery to consider are…

• Minimalist and modern – simple shapes, clean lines •

• Vintage (or vintage-inspired) •

• Dainty/delicate – small, elegant and subtle •

• Statement – large sizes, bold colours and shapes •

• Boho/natural – rough gemstones, curved shapes •

Colour

What colours do they wear in clothes or accessories? When you’re wading through the thousands of beautiful pieces on a site like Etsy or in a big jewellery store, colour can be a really useful starting point. If you’re refining by style, size, or something else, or you’re stumped on what colour they might like, there’s an easy solution: go for simple metal!

Hobbies and interests

A lovely way to give a personal jewellery gift is to search for jewellery that represents one of the recipient’s interests, something I discussed in a post a couple of months ago. This is where somewhere like Etsy is brilliant, because whatever niche thing your human is into, someone, somewhere will have made jewellery referencing it!

If in doubt, start small!

Etsy has tons of affordable, handmade and thoughtful designs available (including mine!), meaning that a heartfelt jewellery gift doesn’t have to be a bank-breaking gamble…

If you’re stumped for last minute gifts, I have a few last pieces ready to ship. For my lovely UK readers, tomorrow, Wednesday 20 December is my last recommended shipping date on standard 2nd class shipping, but I also offer upgrades to 1st class and guaranteed delivery, and I guarantee to ship within 24 hours for any ready-to-ship pieces. Available at the time of publishing are…

And for all my overseas friends, you can always get ahead of Valentine’s Day planning, or just treat yourself!

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Crafting for Crazy People

As you may or may not know, today is World Mental Health Day. It’s a day that is quite close to my heart and indeed my brain, because (as I may have mentioned once or twice) I have several mental health conditions. Or, as my husband so sweetly puts it, I’m ‘batshit cray’… He also started referring to me as a ‘bipolar bear’ after he bought me a fluffy dressing gown for Christmas. I guess I can sort of see his point:

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Anyway, since it’s the Day of Cray™, I’ve compiled 5 reasons crafting is so good for your mental health (in general and as a tool for managing mental illness). Some are backed up by science, some are my own personal experience, and obviously none of them are actual medical advice because I’m not a qualified doctor (go see your therapists, kids).

I’m also not saying any of this is a substitute for some combination of meds/talking therapy/however else you want to deal with your shit. This is not a ‘have you tried yoga?’, ‘just eat more vegetables’, ‘have you tried just thinking positively?’ scenario, don’t worry. It’s just one tiny, crazy human’s point of view, ok?

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5 reasons crafting is good for your mental health:

1) Sense of achievement

When your mental health is bad, it can feel like you’re going nowhere/doing nothing/a terrible and useless human/etc. Craft projects let you physically make something yourself – there’s no refuting that achievement, even if your brain is determined to tell you you’re a worthless turdbasket – the evidence is right there in front of you.

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A rare finished piece – embroidery map of where I grew up. Took many hours; have yet to iron/frame/do anything with it…

2) Distraction

From distracting yourself from destructive urges/habits to breaking the monotony of lying on your sofa for a solid week unable to go to work, craft projects have the potential to break through the mental mist in a fairly unique way. More interesting than household chores and requiring less mental input than reading, they provide a diversion that’s fun and (at least nominally) practical. Hard to beat, imho.

3) Doing something nice for others

I find a lot of my craft projects end up as presents for other people, because I can’t really justify making more clutter (aka The Goblin’s nemesis) for myself. Making something for somebody else gives you the double whammy of having achieved something and done something nice for someone you care about. Win-win.

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4) All the dopamine

Apparently when we’re knitting or sewing, our brains release the happy-hormone dopamine. Crafting makes us chemically happy, and those of us with mental illnesses will take all the chemical happiness we can get! Even if your brain is chemically sound, a bit of extra dopamine goes a long way, so get your needles out and give it a go.

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5) Repetition, repetition

Something almost all crafts, from cross-stitch to print-making, share is an element of repetition. It both occupies and empties the mind. A lot of people compare knitting to meditation, but I was never super good at that, so I wouldn’t know. I’ll take their word for it…

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So, I know I said it wasn’t going to be medical advice, but I never said I wasn’t going to spout general human advice… I know some (or many) people reading this are going to go ‘hurr durr that’s all very well but how do I actually use crafts as a coping tool? Crafts can’t improve mental illness you idiot’.

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I mean, see above for that whole disclaimer, but I am going to share some ways I’ve found of incorporating my crafty hobbies into my mental-illness-management regime.

1) Have lots of VARIED projects going at once

At any given time I have at least 3 projects going. Between work, the business, and the wedding, I’ve currently ended up with 7 (hover for descriptions if you’re interested!). Because people know I like to make things, I also tend to get little kits as presents from time to time, which is great because I can stockpile them so that if all else fails and I don’t want to do any of my current projects, I can just start a new one!

As you can see, I also have a range of projects – easy ones for when I just need something to do, harder ones for when I need to immerse myself in something. And they’re different types of crafts, because sometimes you just don’t feel like doing a pre-designed cross-stitch kit… *

I don’t finish them quickly, but that’s ok, and that leads us to point 2…

2) Set small goals

For the love of your sanity, do not go into a craft session expecting yourself to finish the whole thing. Some projects are short ones you can blitz in a few hours, but the majority won’t be, and expecting yourself to churn out piece after piece can cause more stress than it alleviates! I try and set smaller, numerical goals (number of rows knitted, finishing one section of a project, etc.) so I still feel I’ve achieved something when I put down my needle/pen/pliers. Of course, sometimes you’re just not in the right place to craft, so it’s important to remember you can always…

3) Allow yourself to give up and do something else if it’s not working

Sounds simple, but your craft project should not become another stick for you to beat yourself with. When you’re anxious/self-critical/low, it’s hard to get out of that mindset,  but the last thing you want is for your creative escape to become a chore or a source of stress. If it’s going badly or you’re just not feeling it, give yourself permission to do something else.

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So there we have it: reasons why crafting is good for your mental health and ways you can use crafty hobbies as a crazy-management tool. Bit of a long post today, but what can I say – I really believe in the healing power of faffing about with bits of thread!

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*By the way, I was going to tidy my projects up and make them look Pinterest-ready, but in the spirit of honesty – and laziness – I decided to show them as they usually are: tangled, chaotic, and stuffed into a too-small craft drawer!

How to choose your bridal jewellery in 5 easy steps

It’s an undeniable fact of life that weddings in the Western world are overwhelmingly focused around the appearance of the bride and, let’s face it, that’s a lot of pressure. There are so many things to consider, and that’s before you start looking at wedding magazines or websites for inspiration. When you’re busy obsessing over every aspect of your dress/makeup/bouquet/hair/shoes, it’s easiest to leave the jewellery till last.

I’ve done exactly this, and only just chosen what I’m going to wear, although my wedding is in just over three weeks. Like a lot of brides, I had a couple of family/sentimental pieces in mind early on, but then I got stuck making it work as a whole ‘look’. (To be fair, it probably didn’t help that I changed my mind about my wedding dress three months before the wedding and had to find one to exchange it for… More on that in a different post, probably.)

Anyway, now I’ve (pretty much) finalised what jewellery I’m going to sport on the Big Day™, I’ve got five quick tips for any other brides-to-be who find themselves in similar circumstances…

1) Consider the style of your dress

This sounds obvious, but it’s worth saying anyway. The dress is, naturally, the focal point of your appearance, and it will look better in photos if the jewellery works well with the dress. For example, my dress has a relatively high neck and a very embellished bodice, so I’m not having a necklace because it would be too much, and would get lost in the beading. If your dress is in a vintage style, it might also be worth considering jewellery (real or replica) which suits the era you’re wearing.

2) Stay true to your own tastes and dress sense

If there’s a style or piece of jewellery you see cropping up on wedding blogs or Pinterest, it’s easy to start thinking ‘well perhaps I should wear something like that, too’, but if you wouldn’t wear something similar in every day life, think twice about whether it’s right for you. Of course, I don’t mean if you wouldn’t wear a huge tiara every day you shouldn’t wear one for your wedding, but if, say, the tiara is heavily jewelled and you usually favour clean, simple lines, look for a tiara that fits those tastes.

3) Consider wearing jewellery for sentimental reasons…

‘Jewellery reigns over clothing not because it is absolutely precious but because it plays a crucial role in making clothing mean something.’ –  Roland Barthes

Because jewellery is valuable, it’s often handed down through the generations, imbuing it with memories and emotions, so it’s no wonder many brides wear at least one piece that has sentimental value. I’m mixing old with new for my wedding by wearing three sentimental items combined with a new ring I’ve made myself, and a hairpiece I sourced from another Etsy seller.

If you’re struggling to pull your pieces into a cohesive look, consider choosing one material, style or era to make things go without having to be matchy-matchy. For example, I’ve decided to feature pearls in many of the pieces I’m wearing in order to tie the different styles together. I’m also wearing an heirloom brooch on my bouquet because it doesn’t match the wedding colours; including a piece you like but which doesn’t go with your dress on your bouquet is a great way to wear your treasured pieces without compromising on your style.

4) …but don’t feel bound by tradition if you want a shiny new set of jewels

Conversely, if you’re determined for your look to come together seamlessly, or want to create new heirlooms and memories with some brand new pieces, don’t feel you have to wear something old just because it’s ‘expected’ of you. (Let’s face it, there are enough expectations around you as a bride without adhering to tiny ones like this…) This tip is kind of an extension of point 2; essentially, you do you.

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5) Try not to obsess over it

I feel this should be the last point on any wedding advice list, and it’s one I’m terrible at following, but it’s so important. Your wedding outfit will never be perfect (especially in years to come when you look back and your gorgeous mermaid gown looks like those puffy-sleeved 80s monstrosities do now), but you should be so happy on the day itself that it won’t bloody matter. The best you can do is to make the choice you’re happy with now, and then try and forget about it (she says, with incredible hypocrisy).

And what am I wearing, after all that? Well…

  • My mum’s pearl and haematite earring and bracelet set (from Cellini)
  • A new diamanté and pearl hairpiece from this Etsy store
  • A new ring I’ve made to match my bouquet, with an asymmetrical setting of two garnets, a pearl and a cubic zirconia
  • A brooch The Goblin gave me when he proposed (an actual goblin family heirloom, which doubles as my ‘something blue’ and my ‘something old’)
  • My wedding ring, which I also made

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Yes, these are my actual wedding flowers (Goblin with allergies= silk all the way)
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The iridescent blue is from the butterfly wing behind the glass

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Of course, true to indecisive form, I’m thinking of swapping out the garnet ring I made with the one The Goblin gave me for our first anniversary (what a lovely Goblin he is):

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Like I mentioned earlier, the dress is seriously embellished, so it’s got to be one or the other. Any ideas? Let me know in the comments…

Wear your heart on your sleeve (or neck, or finger, or ears)

I just designed another custom order, and it occurred to me that one of my favourite things about designing for a specific person is that it often allows people to physically wear their interests. The current design is music-themed (a customer after my own heart!), but I’ve recently created a few science and maths-themed pieces. These are in some ways more interesting for me because I’m an Arts girl, so it’s nothing I would ever design for myself.

The three bespoke STEM pieces I’ve made recently are:

  • A large ammonite necklace for my nature-loving grandma
  • An ammonite and amethyst lariat necklace for a Geology student’s ball
  • A set of mathematical symbol studs for a Maths student

The first piece was a commission for my grandma’s birthday. She’s a botanical artist married to a Wildlife Trust director, so she pretty much loves anything related to natural history and plant life. She also likes a statement necklace, so my grandad and I came up with this:

The smaller version of this ammonite necklace is one of the most popular in my Etsy store, so I wasn’t too surprised when I got a custom order enquiry about it, but I definitely wasn’t expecting such an interesting commission. The enquirer was a lovely Geology undergraduate called Mo who was hunting for a special piece for her graduation ball. She’d seen my ammonite necklace and was hoping for a themed necklace to go with the outfit she’d already bought.

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This was a really fun one, because I bloody love designing for specific outfits and occasions. Mo had chosen an absolute show-stopper – a dark purple, v-neck playsuit with a flowing train:

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With a dress that eye-catching, the necklace had to simultaneously match up to and not detract from the dress. An amethyst was the obvious option, and I chose a faceted stone to suggest natural minerals. Paired with the ammonite, it made an unusual, perfectly-themed choice:

The final STEM design I’ve done this season is a set of tiny, delicate, algebraic earrings and a nose stud for a Maths student. I love these, and was tempted to make some for myself, but I felt it might be a bit strange to wear symbols that have no meaning to me…

So, from my recent designing experience, it seems that students wear their interests more than graduates. I suppose this makes sense, since their whole daily lives are defined by their degree choice. ‘Theming yourself’ has another benefit though – it helps you find like-minded people. And, as a relatively-recent graduate myself, I also know how hard it is to meet adult friends once you leave university (or school, if you don’t take the uni route).

Suddenly, for the first time ever, you’re not surrounded by an immediate pool of your peers that you can fish friends out of. How are you supposed to tell if that likely-looking person in your office is actually interesting on a friend level without quizzing them like a creep? (Seriously, if anyone has the answer, let me know in the comments…)

Sometimes it’s easier to start a conversation if you already know you have an interest in common, and interest-based jewellery (or clothing, or accessories) is shorthand for similarly-inclined potential friends to read and start conversation:

Wear a quaver pendant and someone might pipe up, ‘What an unusual necklace, do you play an instrument?’

Ammonite necklace: ‘Ooh, do you like fossils?’

Mathematic symbol earrings: ‘Did you by any chance study maths?’

Boom, instant small talk and a foot in the door to talk to a potential friend (without feeling so weird). I know that probably sounds a bit forced, but there’s also possibility 2: they notice your pretty necklace, comment on how they like it, and you start a conversation about the meaning behind it and find out if you do or don’t have that topic in common. Or you’re already talking and you find something else you both like. Or you decide you hate them and can therefore avoid them. Whatever the outcome, your choice of accessory has enabled a conversation…

The best thing about Etsy is that there are so many wonderful artists you can find something to express your interests. If you can’t find exactly what you’re after, almost everyone will make a custom order if they can (as I may have mentioned before, they’re some of my own favourite design projects). This is just a tiny selection of the interest-based jewellery Etsy has to offer:

So get out there, let your stylish freak flag fly, and meet some fellow humans!